This handbook will cover the definition of self-esteem, how and why people build low self-esteem, how low self-esteem affects mental health, signs of low self-esteem and how to build self-esteem through evidence-based practice and exercises.
What Is Self-Esteem?
Self-esteem is the way we talk to ourselves. It is a list of affirmations such as "I am competent," "I am lovable," or "I am enough." Self-esteem is a source end of personal and emotional development known to psychology.
Self-Esteem vs. Self-Confidence
Synonymous terms overused but not co-extensive in meaning are self-esteem vs self-confidence. Self-confidence is confidence in your ability, i.e., public speaking or mathematics. Self-esteem is global, favoring you.
Robust self-esteem is important because:
- Better capacity to cope with stress
- Better, safer relationships
- Better motivation and performance
- Better emotional resilience
- Better mental and physical well-being
Low self-esteem can, however, lead to negative self-talk,
depression, anxiety, and even self-destruction. Self-esteem and mental health are thus synonymous.
Symptoms of Low Self-Esteem
Low self-esteem people will:
- Always question their own judgment
- Cannot make a decision
- Always require other individuals to inform them what they think
- Stay away from disappointment and failure since they are sure that they will fail
- Put themselves down
- Will also struggle to accept compliments
Such confession of these low self-esteem traits is the beginning of their eradication.
Causes of Low Self-Esteem
Low self-esteem never develops suddenly. causes of low self-esteem could be:
- Childhood: Praise, rejection, or constant criticism of a child inclines the child towards low self-esteem.
- Bullying or abuse: Emotional, verbal, or physical abuse chips away at confidence.
- Unrealistic expectations: Too much high performance expectation causes inadequacy.
- Social media: Comparison of oneself against others' social media highlight reels appears to breed low self-esteem.
- School issues: Continual criticism or disappointment for kids dashes self-esteem.
Self-Esteem in Psychology
Self-esteem is the psychological development parade's star. He put it right in the middle of psychologist Abraham Maslow's hierarchy of needs, esteem needs, respect, status, and consideration, right in the middle of self-actualization.
Healthy self-esteem in psychology makes you capable of learning, of trying, and of tolerating strength and weakness.
Self-Worth vs. Self-Esteem
Self-worth is the good, good feeling that you're worth something even if you do or don't do some act. Self-esteem is quantified in external outcomes, grades, work, relationships.
Self-worth and self-esteem are second cousins once removed, but having self-worth gives a more solid platform for long-term emotional health.
How to Build Self-Esteem: Practical Solutions
If self-doubt puts you in a huff, don't worry, you're not the only one, and the wonderfully brilliant good news is, you can cure it. Here's how to improving self-esteem:
Defeat Negative Self-Talk
Catch "I'm not good enough" type of thoughts and challenge yourself with: Really? Is that really true? Replace judgment with more balanced, nicer inner dialogue.
Break Down Goals into Real Steps
Break goals into tiny, manageable steps. Break success, not perfection.
Practice Self-Kindness
Be kind to yourself like you would be to your best friend. Don't be too hard on yourself over your flaws and nice enough to let yourself learn.
Be around People Who Inspire You
The people you surround yourself with will habituate you to act towards yourself. Surround yourself with people who bring you joy and who trust in you.
Center the Mind on Strengths
Pay attention to your strengths and achievements. Encourage them to yourself when you are depressed. Concentrating your mind on your strengths constructs long-term self-esteem.
Self-Esteem Exercises and Activities
Therapy or not, these self-esteem exercises will be builders of confidence and worth.
Journaling of Gratitude
You remind yourself of three things you're thankful for about yourself or in your life. Repeating this conditions your mind to positive.
Mirror Affirmations
Stand in front of the mirror and tell yourself, repeating e.g., "I am worthy," "I am learning and growing," or "I am worth happiness."
Letter to Younger Self
Sit down and write a motivational letter to your younger self, accepting pain but encouraging and motivational.
Strength Spotting
Mark down those times when you were proud, tough, and/or courageous. Why are you resilient enough to remain living? Discoveries empowering with self-assurance within.
Weekly Wins
Take time at the end of each week to reward yourself with an end-of-week hiatus and take a minute or two and write down what did go well, no matter how small or supposedly unimportant. This anchors effort and achievement.
These self-esteem activities are especially well-suited to utilize when conducting school counseling or self-esteem counseling.
Self-Esteem Counseling: When Expert Help is Essential
In the majority of cases, problems with self-esteem are history-based and involve trauma, nagging that refuses to cease, or mental illness. Professional therapeutic counseling in the scenario would be more advisable.
- Meeting and refocusing negative assumptions underlying
- Developing healthier coping mechanisms
- Building self-acceptance and emotional mastery
If low self-esteem sabotage is killing your work, relationship, or mood, give it a try and seek an expert therapist.
Self-Esteem in Students
Constructing self-esteem for students is the spark that ignites the flame of scholarship and social success. Parents, teachers, and school counselors can help by
- Accentuating effort, not outcome
- Encouraging extra-curricular participation
- Being growth mind-set focused, error as the learning process
- Creating space for students to learn as problem solvers
- Positive self-talk and modeling behavior
Early intervention in life gives students a healthy self-concept.
High Self-Esteem Traits
Students with high self-esteem will:
- Recognize their strengths and weaknesses without shame
- Shut up and create healthy boundaries with other people
- React positively to criticism
- Pursue goals aggressively and boldly
- Rebound positively from failure
These high self-esteem characteristics enable one to ride the life roller coaster more evenly and recover from it.
Self-Esteem Development is a Process
Developing self-esteem is not being perfect or acceptable to others. It is:
- Having your back on your worse-than-average days too
- Embracing control of your own development
- Embracing you for who you are, with all your imperfections
Just like any other muscle, there is confidence you build with practice. You learn from the mistakes, but with every step towards healthy growth, you're the tougher, more intelligent one from within.
Conclusion
Self-esteem is everything we think and do regarding our life, how we love, dream, work, and care for our self. If low self-esteem has been stopping you, lost in differences between self-worth vs self-esteem, or on the hunt for self-esteem activities in trying to build you up, know that things are changing. You are not your past. You are not your fear. You can build self-worth, you can build self-esteem, and move into a more worthy, more confident life by doing the work, by listening, and with the right tools.
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